Note From Jon

Adieu.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

White Elephant leads to Airing of (rhymes with) Grievances



Let me just state that there was NOT an official theme to this year's White Elephant gift exchange (in fact a look at last year's photos should show things weren't any more risque than usual). It is possible the profusion of penis gifts was the result of the many happy couples (some of whom met at our parties) passing them along to the many eligible ladies in attendance—perhaps as a not so subtle way of letting Darren and I know that the matchmaking reputation of our parties will diminish significantly if we can't get more single guys out! While several have fled to the West Coast, we've still got a few locals who just failed to show up. However, as I think the photos will attest, no one's enjoyment was significantly diminished.

Special Thanks to:
  • Diana for reprising her role as the Cookie Baking Goddess, slaving away in our tiny kitchen to provide hours of decorating fun and desserty goodness (we're working on a new kitchen for you for next year).
  • Sara for taking Jan Louis' role as honorary Cuban and provider of rice and bean sides for everyone (and for cleaning up afterward... even without a Porcupine scrub brush)
  • Everyone who brought food, decorated, or helped with all of the endless tasks that come up during a party (and for keeping the regifting tradition alive for so many past favorites)
When it comes to posting photos online, I try to err on the side of... humor, so if you are uncomfortable with any of the photos of you on here please do let me know and I will be happy to take them down without harassing you... much :-) You can also find additional photos (and a few which I borrowed for narrative purposes) from Carmel and Brooke, or by friending Mary, Denise, or Linny on Facebook.

White Elephant stats and awards:
  • 43 Participants (though Darren's numbering may have thrown off the official count :-) )
  • Running time: Just about 2 hours
  • Gifts stolen the maximum number of times: ABs CDs, the Cookbooks and Apron, and I feel like the Ice Cream maker was stolen 3 times but I can only remember 2.
  • Regifts from White Elephants past:
  • Four Years: Joanna and Pete's Smiley Clock (a record)
  • Three Years: Sarah's Oklahoma guidebook with Candy Panties, Diana's photos of past owners (now in album form), Carmel's Personal Jesus
  • Two Years: Snow Job (after a year hiatus I believe), CharAnn's Boy Band CD (in the Lost and Found gift), Darren's Twin Peaks (which he finished watching just in time!)
  • Best Wrapped Gift: Sara for the "Cucumber" Pokey, though runners up to Ehren's Trader Joe wrapping and Candice's White Elephant logo.
  • Best Gift Combination: Perhaps the "Cucumber" Pokey as well, or Carmel's "How to Find the Love of your Life" book and Jesus, but I'll go with the Joy of French Cooking books and the Apron.
  • Best Gift for Photo Blackmail: The Cucumber Pokey could sweep these but I'm spreading the wealth. Sorry Kristin :-) Enjoy the Bachelorette Party Baking Tray
  • Most Illegal Gift: Ehren's Lost and Found Cellphone. Hopefully it has a SIM card to swap out.
  • Best Cookie Decorating: Candice's gingerbread Shark.
  • Best Beer Decorating: Candice's six-pack of ReinBeer.
  • Winner of this year's Lost and Found gift: Elizabeth (how did I not let her know ahead of time which one it was!?!). She got bowls, a jacket belt, a Papa John's pizza case, a Boy Bands CD, and a sippy cup, but lost most of the "good" stuff to Kevin who had left a bag of clothes and schwag with Darren after their duathlon this summer.
  • And the 2008 Gift of the Year: I still can't decide between the "Cucumber" Pokey and Candice's Holiday Sweater, so I'm taking bribes.
Notes for year 6 (should one or both of us still be in the house next year):
  • For about 50 people the 9 chickens cut into 8 pieces was about right, as was 12 cups of rice, the black bean recipe serving 20, 9 sides of Yucca may have been about right, but we should get more than the 9 sides of Plantains.
  • Santa stayed on the roof this year (through the party at least), but he needs his own timer.
  • The backyard circuit is the same as the one along the back of the house so run the front left off of the Santa circuit.
  • Don't have Darren set up the numbers (alternately it could be a fun new tradition to leave out 20-25 and have two 43s and 44s)

5 comments:

Kristin said...

Tricia stole the ice cream maker too!

Natalie said...

Nice reference to Matt & I but we weren't even there! And I give the credit to Mark & Cara for bringing us together - since they got Matt to attend the event. :) But I still love ya and wish we could have been there for the good times! Scheduling just didn't work out.

Carmel said...

Awesome recap and slideshow, Jon! BTW, I heard that the condoms that came with the snowjob expire in a year and a month, so it should be good for another round of re-gifting :-) Happy Christmas and looking forward to next year already!

Darren said...

Great Slide show Jon, Hopefully will be having our party next year, but the question that I want to know, what is Next years Manly craft project?

Baking Godess said...

Oooh, a new temple to arts. I will have to anoint priestess to assist in my worship rituals. :))))